Wolverine babysits the Avengers
by hpstarkness1
Summary: When Loki accidently de-ages the Avengers, Nick sends them to X-men academy where Wolverine is put in charge. But when you mix in a 4 year old genius with no memory, a 6 year old hulk, an 8 year old on serum, two pre-teen assassins and a demigod, and then a teenage Coulson in love, you better expect some excitement.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: We sadly don't own the Avengers, if we did it would have ended differently :). Including lots of shipping and even more bromances. **

**(A/N this is a COOP story, and it's with my very good friend HotChocolate345 and I am hpstarkness1.) **

**Chapter 1:**

_POV: tony_

"Why exactly should I waste my time upstairs, Pepper?" Tony retorted to Peppers demand to come upstairs after days of working on the new improvements on the Ironman suit.

"Because Tony, I can and will have JARVIS lock you out of your lab." Pepper snapped from the other side of the glass. Tony glanced at Pepper out of the corner of his eye, wondering if she was serious. **(A/N: if you get this reference you are awesome!)**

"Sir, is correct I can lock you out." JARVIS states, and not for the first time Tony really wishes he didn't progam his AL unit with sarcasm.

"Fuck you JARVIS, I'm your creator." Tony moodily states.

"Don't talk to him like that Tony, see this is why you need to get out of your lab and not brood like a four year old!" Pepper exasperatedly sighs getting annoyed at Tonys attitude.

" I do not act like a four year old!" Tony shouts and stamps his foot finally looking at Pepper. Pepper just raises an eyebrow incredulously and just stares at him.

"What? Why are you staring at me?" Tony questioned but then blushes when he realizes what he just did. He really really hated when she was right. "Fine I'll come upstairs" Tony finally agrees although reluctantly. He sometimes wonders why he invited all the avengers to live with him in his tower.

Pepper walks up the stairs and Tony hears her shout, "I got him out of the lab guys!" which causes Tony to brood even more when he realized he got played.

"Fucking finally we thought you died down there!" Clint exclaimed as he sees Tony enter the doorway.

"Oh ya cause I would totally die in my OWN lab, _that_ makes sense" Tony snarkly bites back not in the best of moods from being dragged out of his lab.

"Ooo someone is in a crabby mood." Steve supplied while sitting at the table reading a newspaper. Bruce tries to hide a snort, but fails epically while drinking out of his tea cup. This causes Tony to glare at both and mutters a curse to them in italian.

"Stark, that wasn't a very nice thing to call them." Natasha, who is standing literally right fucking behind Tony, states.

"Its fine Natasha, we're used to this by now." Bruce interjects.

"Here Tony drink this, it'll put you in a better mood" Pepper supplies before handing him his favorite cup with his coffee in it. After taking a large gulp his head and mood seemed to improve and he felt chirpier.

"Pepper now that I'm up here, why_ exactly_ am I needed up here?" Tony asked seeing no point of him being there when he could be doing important work on his suit.

"Well…for one we wanted to see if you were alive." Clint supplied in a not helpful way.

"What Clint means is we should be doing team bonding exercises." Steve stated in that annoying captain voice.

"Team…bonding…riiiiiggggghhht, and we're doing this how Capsicle?" Tony sarcastically replied, thinking this is the worst idea ever thought.

**A/N Please Read and Review! criticism is welcomed and the more reviews the faster we upload more chapters! Ok now totally unrelated to this, but we are extremely confused on how you can crossover the Avengers with the Avengers, if you could please explain this much would be appreciated. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"This is the most idiotic idea ever!" Tony said wondering how he got dragged into this. Capscicle's brilliant idea to play hide n' seek led him to his current position of being legitimately under the floor.

"Tony _shut up_, you'll give away our position!" Steve hid underneath the floor in the next room from Tony.

"What position is_ that_? We're in_ separate_ rooms!" Tony snarked not one to be silent for long.

"I didn't mean it like that!" Steve blushed furiously

"You sound like you're blushing. Are you blushing? I bet you're blushing" Tony said greatly amused.

"Shut **UP** Tony!" Steve whispered urgently. He thought he heard something.

"Found you!" Natasha popped out of freaking nowhere, scaring both Tony and Steve senseless.

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHH_!" Tony and Steve screamed rather high pitched.

"_Jesus Christ_, how the _hell_ did you do that?" Tony exclaimed. Natasha raised one perfect manicured eyebrow. "Oh right, assassin" Tony put in after regulating his frantic heartbeat.

"Have you found the others?" Steve asked.

"Not yet." Natasha said.

"I bet I know where they are." Tony said smugly. He points up to the air vent. He and Natasha share a mischievous look and smirk deeply. Natasha silently counts "_1...2...3_" and jumps up into the air vent.

"**_HOLY SHIT_**!" Clint screams right before he falls out of the vent...right into the...fish tank?

"I have a fish tank?" Tony asks right before breaking into deep laughter and ending up rolling on the floor.

"Shut up tin face." Clint Mutters but he has to admit this is pretty hilarious.

They all suddenly hear deep booming laughter from the pantry. Natasha walks over and finds Thor with twelve empty boxes of Pop Tarts surrounding him.

"Greetings friends these midgardian pastries are fit for a king!" Thor greeted warmly. Everyone stared at him for a few moments before Tony clapped his hands.

"Well Pop Tarts aside, we need to find Bruce"

Everyone branched out and after 20 minutes of searching Tony found Bruce...in the closet.

"_Damn it_! I didn't think you'd find me. **_WHAT THE HELL_**!" Bruce exclaimed before turning into the Hulk.

**_"Hulk crash puny Iron Man. Hulk like game and Tin Man ruin fun!"_** Hulk exclaimed chasing Tony around. Tony thinking "**_Shit.. .shit._****SHIT**" as he slid into his hiding place and slithered into the walls.

"_**Hulk smash!**_" Hulk exclaimed and started punching the wall. All that could be heard was Tony laughing and running around in the walls.

...Line Break...

"Why is your tower in pieces Stark?" Nick fury looked at Tony.

"I blame him!" Tony ,eating a bag of bugles, pointing to Steve.

"We were team bonding." Steve replied innocently.

"Team bonding...sure turned out well." Nick drawled.

"Actually it did teach us one lesson." Tony replied.

"And what is that?" Nick turned his eye on Tony.

"To never under any circumstances catch Bruce coming out of the closet!" Tony replied snarkily causing the others to burst out in laughter, it even made Nick smirk a little. With Bruce brooding in the corner drinking tea.

**A/N: So we were really disappointed and hoping for more reviews we need more to write more. But digressing from these point were wondering why Thor is so obsessed with Pop Tarts. Also what is the correct spelling of Midgardian that or Midgaurdian? So PLEASE REVIEW! We love to hear from all of you and wish to know what you're thinking. We value criticism, and if you have any ideas for scenes TELL US!**

**With hpstarkness1 and HotChocolate345**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_**...two weeks later...**_

"Hey bruce, can you pass me that ratchet wrench" Tony asked. Bruce looks up from his halo screen to see Tony working diligently on...something.

"Tony, its like RIGHT next to your hand." Bruce sighs.

"But...I'm busy right now, doing...whatever this is." Tony replied wondering what he was building, hopefully it wasn't another nuclear toaster.

"What exactly are you building" Bruce questioned.

"I don't exactly know, I think it's Bumblebee." Tony looked at his invention while tilting his head.

"Tony, why are you building Bumblebee?" Bruce asked while snickering quietly.

"Why not?" Tony replied defensively.

"Touche" Bruce said.

**CRASH!**

"What the...seriously Loki, what's up with you and breaking Windows? There's something called doors you know!" Tony exclaimed, like for real what's up with villains and dramatic cliche enhances?

"Well, well, if it isn't the science nerds" Loki smirked.

"Well if it isn't the snape-voldemort wannabe." Tony snarked, but internally clapped himself on the back for such a creative insult.

"What? I don't understand this reference." Loki replied confused.

"Cap already said that!" Bruce exclaimed before running up the stairs screaming at the team that Loki was downstairs.

Tony rolls his eyes as he hears them run down the stairs. "You guys seriously didn't hear him crash? Are you deaf?"

Clint looks at Tony skeptically, "Do you honestly think we don't ignore the crashes down here every five FUCKING seconds." By this time Loki looks as if he's constipated with anger at being ignored for idle banter.

"Hello, evil villain here?"

"Shut up were bantering." Tony cuts him off.

"You will not tell me to shut up!" Loki indignantly says getting super angry at being insulted like this.

"Well I just did." Tony smirked knowing he was making Loki mad.

"Tony quit antagonizing him." coulson said irritated at the situation

"No this is my lab, so I'll do as I please." Tony snarked enjoying this more than he should.

Loki finally pissed to the point of seeing red, raised his staff. Tony anticipating this jumped on top of Loki breaking his concentration of the spell but a jet of pink light burst out of the staff, hitting the avengers.

"Shit well until next time avengers." Loki said before teleporting out of the room.

Everyone, well except Tony who was out cold from the beam, looked at each other not feeling any different. But soon one by one they all felt a tingly feeling and felt as if a cloud settled over their heads.

**(A/N: Do NOT take this the wrong way, we know how this sounds, please do not mention it)**

One by one the Avengers fell to the floor, but right before Coulson passed out he got a message to shield asking for backup.

**(A/N: please review and rate! We're going to try and update every two days as long as we don't procrastinate and keep on track! and also were holding a contest on who should be shipped! if you have an idea leave a comment and then by the end of this story the winner will be announced in some hilarious way!)**


	4. Chapter 4

**(A/N: The vote is still open for whom Tony should be with. [Clint, Steve, or Bruce])**

**Disclaimer: We don't own X-men, or the Avengers!**

**Chapter4**

_Multiple POV_

Nick sighs as he looks at the mess on Stark's lab floor. The Avengers were sprawled out across the lab, and not only that but they were all de-aged. Coulson was closest to the door and looked to be the oldest, Clint and Natasha were a tangle of arms and legs and seem to be in the pre-teen stage, Thor still holding mjolnir looked like he was drowning in a sea of red that was his cape, Rogers came next and looked to be about eight or nine, Banner significantly smaller looked to be about five or six, but it was Stark that shocked him the most. Stark looked to be about two to three years old and the glow of his reactor was still present to Nicks relief. After doing a quick analysis of everyones conditions, he sighed in irritation.

"Agent Hill call professor Xavier." Nick said rubbing his head in irritation.

"What? what for?" Hill said shocked, whatever she was expecting it was not this.

"Just do it, we're going to need help and Xavier has proven his loyalty to the greater good." Nick said pissed off that he had to explain himself and just at the situation as a whole.

"On it." Hill replied calling the professor.

Coulson groans startling Nick from his brooding and all around abhorrence of this whole fucked up situation. Coulson then sits up noticing how big his clothes now are on him. Nick sees the realization on his face and another resounding groan of annoyance.

"What happened here?"

"You were de-aged by a certain viking demi-god."

"...Loki? Oh ya now I remember, he and Tony were arguing and Tony tackled him before he could get the whole spell out." Coulson explained before looking around. What he saw shocked him. His team, no his friends were out cold and were children! It was when he saw Tony, who looked so small and innocent, that he vowed that he would do his best to protect all of them.

When Nick started to talk about leaving and needing to go to the X-Men Academy he felt a huge wave of annoyance.

"Why do we need to go _there_ of all places? Natasha, Clint, and I can take care of them, we're old enough!"

"And you're teenagers filled with angst, hormones, rebellion, and a seething hatred of everyone. No way am I leaving innocent Avengers in the hands of a possible catastrophe."

"I _still_ don't think we need their help." Coulson grumbled. He was annoyed at the fact that his and his friends lives were going to be in other peoples hands. So far only him, Clint, Natasha, and Thor have awoken. They were currently entering the X-men academy, and they were all grumbling about how sucky this turned out. "wait did i just say sucky….as an adjective? Fuck Director Fury was right. Fucking Damn it all!"

"I don't care what you think right now Coulson, you all are staying here until further notice and thats the end of it." Fury said, feeling amused at the fact that his agent was acting like the teen he now was.

"Fury is right Son of Coul, we are going to need all the help we can until we can reverse this." Thor said. Fury was even more amused to find that Thor's once deep voice was now cracking with puberty.

A bald man in a wheelchair appears out of nowhere with a friendly smile. "Fury, where are the rest of the children?"

"On our backs." Clint grunts from the back with a sleepy Cap snoring into his ear. "Do you have to be so loud, Cap?"

Thor was carrying a sleeping Bruce, who was currently trying to eat Thor's hair. Natasha was carrying Tony, who was drooling onto her shoulder much to her disgust.

""Ah, well come along then we better get all of you checked out by our medical personnel" The bald man, who Coulson guessed to be Professor Xavier said.

"Why the hell do we need to see the doctor?" Clint asked.

"I would watch your language while you are in my school." Xavier said, with a stern look at Clint.

"Yes sir." Clint said, eyes widening at the shock of those words coming out of his mouth. Guess old habits were going to return.

Meanwhile, Xavier was leading them to the medical wing. luckily it was still night time so no children were out.

"So what's the plan of action?" Natasha questioned.

"After you are checked out by the doctors, you four will be enlisted as students while the rest will be watched by a person of Xaviers choice." Fury informed.

"No, we're not being separated!" Coulson exclaimed. He felt responsible for everyone and for Fury to do this, he felt it was unacceptable.

"And you won't be for long." Xavier soothed. He knew from the brief look into Coulson's mind that he was truly worried about his friends.

"Anytime you wish, you may leave class to go see your younger counterparts." He calmly said.

Coulson was still doubtful about the situation but he knew he didn't have much of a choice in the matter.

"So who has the wonderful joy of watching these three?" Clint sarcastically asked. He snorted thinking about if Tony was a handful while grown-up, imagining him as a child was hilarious.

"A close colleague of mine who you may know as Wolverine." As Xavier said this, Wolverine entered the room looking like he would much rather be somewhere else.

"Good luck with this bunch." Natasha said with a smirk. Wolverine just rolls his eyes in annoyance of the situation, grumbling about babysitting and having to put up with all this crap. Fury smirked knowing that the upcoming weeks are going to be very interesting.

"Bugles…" Bruce grumbles in his sleep, still trying to eat Thors hair much to the young god's amusement.

"Jarvis...TME=PE+KE" Tony mumbles in his sleep, quietly twitching. Xavier was highly amused and in awe of the fact that he was thinking of the formula for mechanical energy while sleeping. They all wait for Cap to say something in his sleep, but all he did was manage to snore louder into Clint's ear.

"Seriously Cap?!" poor Clint said, while trying to get Cap away from his ear but failing.

"What have i gotten myself into?" Wolverine quietly says, already knowing that he was going to be in a LOT of interesting situations with these children.

**(A/N: sorry for not updating sooner, but we have both been quite busy lately *cough* youtube *cough*. No, but seriously school has been crazy in homework amounts. [Well for me anyways, HotChocolate345 lucky duck doesn't have barely any!] We promise to update sooner, please read and review.)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Tony woke up feeling confused. Where was he? The last thing he remembered was Jarvis giving him a cookie after Daddy yelled and then a big, bright light. "What, that can't be right." Tony thought to himself. He heard indistinct voices just out of earshot but caught slight words like, "

Loki…..Curse….Tony…..Children…..Yes Wolverine you have to…...Now don't say that!" he stopped listening by then and decided to wake up.

He had no idea where this was or who it was staring at him, two boys around his age; one with large brown eyes and unruly, curly brown hair. The other with cropped blond hair and crisp baby blues. They seemed familiar but, why?

"Whose are you?"Tony asked the little boys sitting beside him.

"My name is Bruce, and this is Steve." Bruce answered, looking confusedly at Tony.

"Tony...don't you remember us?" Steve asked him.

"Nos I don'ts remembers youse. Hows do youse knows my name?" Tony inquired, These people couldn't be kidnappers they are too young.

"Uh oh….Bruce go get the others." Steve ordered Bruce mildly and Bruce nodded before running off. He might be in the body of an eight year old but he at least held close to his memories.

"The….other's?" Tony whispered in a scared voice. Steve smiled soothingly.

"Yes, the grown-ups that are in charge of us." Steve supplied rather unhelpfully in Tony's opinion. Right after this was said Tony saw a group of people walk in. One was a pirate man because he had an eye patch, there was an older man in a wheelchair, a man with claws on his hands like a kitty, and then four other kids along with Bruce.

"Now what seems to be the problem." The man in the wheelchair asked. Tony upon hearing them ran and hid under the bed he had woken up on earlier.

"Well sir, it seems as though Tony has lost his memory." Steve informed lightly, before walking slowly over to the bed where Tony was hiding.

"Tony please come out." Steve asked, holding out his hand. Bruce walked over and also put his hand out towards Tony.

"Buts there's people I don'ts know outs there." Tony said still frightened.

"Yes but we will be here with you and if you come out then you can meet them." Bruce said reasonably, still holding out his hand.

Tony hesitated for a moment and then took their hands. He didn't know why but he knew that he could trust these two. After getting Tony out of the bed they walked him towards the group of people. Tony shyly hid behind Steve. Everyone was shocked. Tony was never shy, and seeing him act like this was surprising. It was so different from the energetic, confident adult they all knew.

"Hello Tony, my name is professor Xavier." The man in the wheelchair said smiling at Tony kindly. "These are my friends Nick, Logan, Coulson, Thor, Natasha, and Clint."

Tony was silent for a moment, took a breathe, and stepped forward. "Mys name is Tony, sir."

"Well Tony, can I ask you some questions." The professor asked him.

"Sures you can! Everyones can asks questions! I asks questions alls the times, it's how yous learns." Tony said excitedly. He loved answering questions as much as he loved asking them. everyone was amused by his enthusiasm and some even thought of him as adorable.

"That's very true Tony! Now, how old are you?" Professor Xavier asked.

"Is am four years, seventeens days, twelve hours, 34 minutes, and 22 seconds old." Tony replied proudly. Everyone was stunned by his answer, for a four year old to be that precise was a shocker.

"Very good, Tony! Your very smart aren't you?" Xavier asked. He was startled by the child's mind. There were systems of complicated equations moving around and the speed of which this child thought and processed was impressive.

"I's made a circuit board for Daddy...buts he didn't like it." Tony answered with a voice mixed of pride and sadness.

"Tony what do you last remember?" Xavier questioned.

"Jarvis gave me's a cookies and milks before I wents to bed and then there's was a big light." Tony replied truthfully. "Where is Jarvis?" He asked.

"Well Tony, Jarvis had to go on a vacation and he left us in charge of you along with some of the other kids like Steve and Bruce." Xavier told him. He felt bad for lying but he couldn't tell him that the Jarvis he remember's now is dead.

"Okay one last question and were done." Xavier said with a smile.

"Tony, do you hurt anywhere?"

"Uhm mys chest feels kindas funny." Tony said before looking down where….a blue light was coming from his shirt. Shocked he ripped of his shirt to reveal the reactor. Tony eyes went wide and so did everyone elses in the room before Tony all of a sudden smiled and said

"I have a big flashlight in my chest?!"

**(A/N: Sorry for the long wait procrastination, no inspiration, and life in itself sucks for this kind of stuff We'll hopefully update soon with 6 Thanks for sticking with us! 3 )**


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